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My Freedom Journey (Part I)

Pregnancy test in hand I stepped on the scale.

Just moments after finding out I was going to be a mom I did not run to tell my husband the joyful news. Instead, I stepped on a cruel machine that told me my worth, I mean, my weight. I needed to know that number so I could get back there again in nine months. In that moment I built an alter that I would worship at for the next five years.

We are a culture obsessed with weight. We let our pants size determine our value and speak hate over our own bodies if the size is larger than we think it should be. This shaming cycle has got to stop. It is a road to bondage.

Looking back I feel sorry for that weight obsessed twenty-seven year old. Instead of rejoicing over the miracle taking place in her body she was focused on the battle waiting for her after her first born would enter the world.

I write this to declare that I am not the same person I was back then! I no longer hate my body or shame it. I actually feel good in my skin and do not enter a room wondering how many people are noticing my back fat or lack of thigh gap. I AM FREE! Free even though I currently still weigh more than I did on that day. Do I have moments when I struggle to love myself? Of course. But I refuse to let those moments steal my freedom.

Freedom did not come overnight. It was a process. And I still have to stand guard and fight for it on a daily basis. But I am here to declare that freedom is possible.

In this series of blog posts I will share with you my personal battle with body shaming, food fear, and yo-yo dieting. My hope is that in sharing I can bring others one step closer to freedom.


What lie have you been believing about yourself or your body? 

Healing starts when we recognize the lie we have been receiving as truth. Expose that lie and your chains will start to fall.

Share in the comments below the lie you struggle with.  Expose it and let us cast it out together!

Come back next week to learn the lie I was obsessed with and more about how you can break free. It is for freedom that Christ set us free! Do you want to be free?


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  • February 9, 2018 - 7:17 pm

    Jamie - Amen! I can totally relate to worshipping the scale and the number it gave me. Thank you for bringing this lie to light- here’s to freedom!ReplyCancel

  • February 14, 2018 - 9:17 pm

    elizabeth - You are so beautiful and your heart for freedom is too. I love this. And I love how you kicked the enemy in the face by sharing your vulnerability with the world. I have no doubt that your story is going to bring freedom to so many others– it’s already help expose chains in my own life. Keep writing!!!! <3ReplyCancel

  • February 14, 2018 - 10:30 pm

    Tiffany - There’s so, so, so much goodness here! I’m reminded of the four altars Abraham built. I can totally relate to worshipping at the altars we’ve built for ourselves. I had a pair of jeans I worshipped. I would wake up in the middle of the night trying them on. I was so afraid I’d gain weight and not be able to wear them. They were my altar. I worshipped those jeans! If tight in the thighs, more cardio less food. If loose in the thighs, “that ‘er girl”!! Thank God for freedom!!

    The lie that keeps chasing me is, my worth is found in the size of my pants. If I’m smaller, I somehow get a gold star. If I gain weight, no gold star. That lie hunts me often.

    I’m totally looking forward to the rest of this series!! I need women like you to walk alongside me in this freedom journey!ReplyCancel

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